Five People You're Guaranteed To See At A Gig

Part of our first stop in a series of light-hearted listicles built on the basis of New Zealand gig culture, we poke fun at the alarmingly relatable characters we are almost guaranteed to see at your standard Friday night gig. Whether it’s one of your friends, a friend of a friend or sadly yourself, we’ve analysed the interesting behaviour of just five people you’re guaranteed to see at a gig, sorry if you’re offended it’s only the truth.

• The “I don’t pay for gigs” - Unless this person is related or dating one of the artists and is on the door, this person most likely spends 4-5 days a week at bars, gigs or clubs - slimming their way into conversations with bouncers, promoters or the artists themselves. Building up the rep of “yea I didn’t even pay for this” to show how connected and dope they are not needing to spare that fiver for the artist.

• The Stage Hugger - Forget about getting a glimpse of your favourite artist’s watch brand from the closest seat in the house, because there is no way you're budging that human wall out of its place. Homie or Homegirl has strength like Dwayne and isn’t moving from that front crowd spacer anytime soon.

• The Face Chewer - This person took a lil too much ‘something something’.

• The Smoker - Usually tagging along for a night out with friends, probably doesn’t know the line up or even care, just really keen to boost outside upon arrival for some darts and a yarn. Possibly on the pull? This person could probably also be categorised under a ciggy scab, making it their ultimate goal of the night.

• Annoying Couple - These people will almost definitely end up on a few fellow gig attendees instagram stories, PDA alert, why do I feel so alone in the club?

Stay tuned for next week where we will be diving into a mini lesson of ‘Gig Etiquette’.